mem·o·ra·ble/ˈmem(ə)rəb(ə)l/adjective
- worth remembering or easily remembered, especially because of being special or unusual.
“Worth remembering” is a given when it comes to your older brothers wedding. “Easy to remember” is also doable, but then as time goes on those memories fade or you forget just how the day played out. That’s where writing (this blog) comes in to play. It’s a way to combine those tangible memories (i.e professional photos below, personal photos, video clips, or notes from my journal) with your own little commentary – all in one place. I’d like to think the second part of the definition also is a given for most weddings, “especially because of being special”.
But it’s the last part of this definition that is the reason I went with memorable when giving this entry a title. “Special or unusual” – August 28, 2020 was all of that. The perfect Covid wedding.
I had trouble deciding what to call this because August 28th was so much more than memorable. It was a day with a full range of emotions. Most of the day I was feeling a mixture of excited, ecstatic, and a bit nervous. A pretty normal day for me and then an added layer of covid and wedding. For anyone who knows me (which you definitely do if you’re reading this) – I LOVE weddings. And I LOVE my brothers and my family more than anything. But I was also nervous because I wanted this day to be absolutely perfect for Brady and Chris and at the same time make sure everyone remained safe (which Brady and Chris successfully did on their own with the help of their new micro venue). It’s worth quickly noting that before this wedding, I hadn’t been indoors to any shops or restaurants since March and had only been quarantining with my parents due to health conditions – so to go spend four days on the Cape was a really big deal for me.
August 28th was also the day I thought the most about how much I miss our family in Liverpool and how I missed being able to come together as a whole with our aunts, uncles, and cousins stateside as well. There would be moments of sadness when I’d think how fun it would be to all be together or that the family pictures that were missing a few. I think normally you don’t expect these feelings to come up at all (even for a moment) at a wedding – but then again, this was a memorable day. An unusual and special day. I reminded myself, how lucky we are to have a family we miss so much. And then I further reminded myself – how lucky I was to be here in that moment – helping my brother marry the love of his life.
I also was surprised by how relaxed and at ease I felt throughout the ceremony (even with the wind blowing my hair and the notebook wide open). I never expected to, but there was something that happened the moment the music (our Nana’s song, Dream A Little Dream) started playing and I was told to start walking towards the beach – the ceremony was beginning. I suddenly had no choice but to – as Brady would say – “fake it till I make it”. And it somehow worked. Turns out it was either the hours of practice, the confidence in me from others, confidence in myself I developed in those short six weeks, or the gorgeous pearls Brady and Chris gifted me with the night before the wedding – which immediately allowed me to channel my inner Nana (our late grandmother who we all so adored) that helped me pull it off.
I felt proud that I could stand there and deliver the ceremony not only to Brady and Chris but to their families and to everyone watching from afar via YouTube live (which was a last-minute thing, thankfully – or my nerves might have won). Especially during a time where it was so easy to let anxiety consume us. I put the fear aside – made a game plan (even if it meant wearing gloves every time I had to use the bathroom) and celebrated the marriage between Brady and Chris! All those hours preparing were worth it.
And the feelings didn’t stop after my duties officiating were done. I felt proud as I snuck a peek from a distance at the private photos they were taking with the photographer off in the dunes – my brother found his person. I felt proud when we walked by the guests at the hotel and they clapped for Brady and Chris as they walked to our outdoor area. I felt proud when my parents and Chris’ delivered such heart felt toasts and watched their faces beaming with pride then entire day. I felt joy that day and that week that we hadn’t felt for a few months since the pandemic started and that’s what made the day so very memorable. The most memorable of the year. And the year isn’t even over.
There’s so much I want to write so I never forget how special this time was for not only Brady and Chris but for all of us during such an unusual time. When you don’t have the best memory – writing can be the best medicine. Everything I have here – I can quickly access and immediately be right back to the joy of that week – and those six weeks leading up to August 28th. Also, let me remind you, this blog was going to be called Short Story Long…
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August 28th was always going to be extremely important to me – my brother was set to marry the love of his life! I was finally getting brother #4. I had been waiting for this day since greeting them at the airport post engagement in Mexico (remember Logan?!). But as it came closer and we were all still hunkered down at home (or on the frontline like my badass brother in law, Chris) trying to ride out the pandemic, it became clear that Brady and Chris were going to have pivot and come up with a solid Plan B. They had made the decision to still go ahead and begin their next chapter together, as planned on August 28th, 2020. They knew this meant it wouldn’t be the same venue, same guest list, and even the sad reality that they wouldn’t be able to have their full immediate families there (our brother, his wife, and their adorable son live in Liverpool and their close aunts, uncles, and cousins). When they decided August 28th was still a go, we were all determined to help make this the absolute best pandemic wedding possible. Brady and Chris were energized and focused on one thing – marriage!
I was as always, the enthusiastic little sister right from the moment I heard it was on and plan B was being looked into – and ready to help out. Nothing makes me happier than helping others and even more so when its my family or friends. I was inspired to help even more when on July 16th my Boston family and I met on my parents’ green for another one of our usual outdoor Covid hangs. We had been coming here routinely at this point for weekly or as often as possible family meetups. We feel so fortunate that we can do this (still in the winter even at times) with those of us that live nearby.
Just as we were packing up to leave, Chris and Brady told me that they had something for me. I’m an April baby so presents in July are usually reserved for the Leo’s in our family, but they handed me an envelope. In it was a handwritten not asking me to marry them! I was overjoyed and in a bit of disbelief that they asked me! Once the initial hype wore off I started to panic a bit. I had never given a speech and in middle school I was even excused for reciting poems due to a learning disability.
I then took a deep breath and realized – I could do this – after all, they chose me! Sometimes all you need is a reminder that you can accomplish those things you think you aren’t cut out for (like officiating your brother’s wedding six weeks after being asked). As mentioned below, we have a brother in our family who is our absolute go to when it comes to speeches. Given Covid (they live in Liverpool), Jeff and his wife Kate as well as my nephew John, were going to be joining us virtually on the day of the wedding. Otherwise, I would have never come to find out that this was something I could do!
It’s also worth noting that a few months before this – my other best friend and her fiancé – also asked me to officiate their upcoming wedding post covid! So, I now had the confidence of two of my best friends that this was something they saw me doing – and doing well enough that they wanted me to officiate their own ceremonies. I’ve since then realized; this is the absolute ultimate compliment one can receive.
From July 16th to August 28th I worked on the script for the ceremony – Chris and Brady gave me total freedom and I told them I’d get busy and share a partial draft pre wedding (and keep some a surprise like they wished). Before the 16th, I didn’t even know the formal structure of a wedding ceremony. I thought I had plenty of time to learn before officiating with Sarah and Kaighin.
But those six weeks I zoned out of the pandemic world and zoned in on how to write a wedding ceremony. It gave me something to do when others were scrolling or watching the news around the clock. It gave me something to look forward to – I hadn’t left Boston since March and I’d be venturing to the Cape for a four day “getaway” that was meticulously planned step by step (to remain Covid friendly). You might say it consumed me – but it really became my creative outlet.
We found a house on Airbnb with a big enough patio and yard for a family outdoor BBQ (perfect for a Rehearsal Dinner), we had good friends of ours (shout out to the Sowa’s!) and the Rabidou’s loan us canopies (for the predicted downpours during the rehearsal) so we could be sure there would be no indoors (other than my parents and I who were staying there and making/serving all the food we cooked), we ordered single serving containers for each and every little thing, we made personalized hand sanitizers to hand out, went to Target when it opened to get enough Lysol wipes and sanitizer for the festivities, wrote menus, wrote grocery lists, shopped in two masks with gloves on, decorated a house that wasn’t ours, managed to get into a garage at the airbnb (so we could salvage the surprise zoom party rehearsal with their friends and family), we managed to run power and lights to the garage (mid downpour) so the zoom could still happen (and be a successful surprise still!) , we managed to pull off surprise readings recorded Jeff and Kate, we had friends from all over sign their community vow and send wishes, but most importantly we set out and accomplished the main goal – get Brady and Chris married.
The saying it takes a village could never be truer. In those short six weeks, I got to know Chris’ mom Bernice better than I did in the last six years. Her and my mom (and everyone really) wanted to do every little thing they possibly could to make this day and this weekend special for their sons. The pride and the joy on the faces of both sets of parents Thursday through Sunday made it entirely worth the team effort. Brady and Chris knew exactly what they were doing going through with their plan to start this next chapter in the middle of a pandemic. After all, all you need is love.
Below I wanted to record the script from the ceremony that I wrote along with some of the photos from their photographer. I put this together with the help of many and had a lot of people who offered to read it over or listen to me practice – thank you all!
This blog is of course dedicated to my first best friend in life, my brother Brady. Even a pandemic couldn’t stop me from being your giddy little sister, right by your side, always. I love you loads!
And to my newest sibling, Chris. You’ve become one of my favorite people to root for over these past few years. But this year more than ever. Welcome to the family! I’m so proud to have you as my brother (in-law).
Beginning of the Ceremony:
Welcome!
We are gathered here today by the ocean to witness and celebrate the marriage of Brady and Chris. When I first asked the two of them why they settled on getting married on the beach (aside from obvious reasons) the quick answer was, “the ocean speaks for itself.” I couldn’t have said it any better.
This is not the beginning, but a celebration as these lovebirds start the next chapter in their lives together. Today, they will affirm this bond formally and publicly. This affirmation is made even more meaningful because its shared with all of you, their family.
Brady and Chris would especially like to thank their parents. “Your love and support goes beyond any we have ever seen, and more than we could have asked for. Who we have become, what we believe and our ability to look towards a wonderful future together come from all that you have instilled in us. You have given us extraordinary examples of how to live, love, laugh, forgive, forget and persevere. Throughout our lives you have given us all that you could, and then amazingly, more. Thank you so much for making this day possible. We love you very much!”
They would also like to honor those that are no longer with us. “We know they are here with us in spirit to shower joy upon this wonderful day.”
Our grooms also want to acknowledge that while this was plan B, they are so grateful to be here today marking the occasion with all of you—whether in-person or from afar, they feel the love.
Lastly, I’d like to mention that if my brother Jeff were here, he’d likely be filling his natural role of family speech giver (anything from weddings to funerals, he’s our guy). But he gave me some pointers, and Brady and Chris gave me their trust, so let’s begin.
ADDRESS:
Coronavirus has changed just about every aspect of weddings. Typically, I’d be standing here thanking all of Brady and Chris’ family and friends and loved ones from near and far for traveling and joining us today. Weddings also typically serve as a multi-family reunion or better yet, introductions.
But coronavirus has also reminded us that slowing down, being present, and spending as much quality time together with loved ones (near and far) is what matters the most.
The one thing coronavirus couldn’t control, however, is Love. We’re here today to celebrate the love between Brady and Chris. While planning today’s ceremony I read just about every poem that popped up related to marriage and love. Brady, however, is the poet in our family, and I was never one to fully grasp the beauty of poetry, that is, until I read this poem:
Touched by an Angel by Maya Angelou
We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.
Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.
This poem beautifully depicts the power of love. It starts describing life before love, the ups and downs of love, and how love changes us. It reminds us that if we are open to it, love “strikes away the chains of fears” inside of us. When we open ourselves up to love we experience freedom from all things that have been in our way.
We have all had a front row seat to watching the love spark, then grow, and stay lit between Brady and Chris for nearly six years. Brady and Chris, it was because you made the brave decision to let this love in that we are here today. I hope your love continues to set your souls free each day
Readings:
Brady and Chris have carefully selected two readings to be read today.
They have invited Ryan Wyrtzen to read, “Scaffolding” by Seamus Heaney:
**I had to quickly interject here that without knowing, our oldest brother Jeff (likely along with the help of his wife, Kate!), selected this same exact reading as a surprise and sent a video to be played on the day of. Guess my siblings know each other well?
Scaffolding
Masons, when they start upon a building,
Are careful to test out the scaffolding;
Make sure that planks won’t slip at busy points,
Secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints.
And yet all this comes down when the job’s done
Showing off walls of sure and solid stone.
So if, my dear, there sometimes seem to be
Old bridges breaking between you and me
Never fear. We may let the scaffolds fall
Confident that we have built our wall.
They have also invited Ben Rabidou to read Ecclesiastes 4:9–12:
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm: but how can one be warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two shall withstand him.
Expression of Intent:
Brady, you have chosen Chris to be your life partner. Will you love and respect him? Will you be honest with him always? Will you stand by him through whatever may come?
(Answer: “I will”)
Chris, you have chosen Brady to be your life partner. Will you love and respect him? Will you be honest with him always? Will you stand by him through whatever may come?
(Answer: “I will”)
And do you both promise to make the necessary adjustments in your personal lives in order that you may live in a harmonious relationship together?
(Answer: “We do”)
The affirmation of family (here at the wedding):
Now in the spirit of joy and affirmation, I want to ask your families and friends a question. Do you, the families of Brady and Chris, give them your blessing and support this day, wishing them a wonderful life together?
(Answer: “We do”)
COMMUNITY VOW:
And while the “we do” you just heard may sound a bit quieter than you both would have imagined today, your family and friends who couldn’t be here physically still wanted to find a way to add their “we do’s” from afar. As Maya Angelou stated, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” And coronavirus wasn’t going to stop them from sharing their love and well wishes for you both today.
Vows:
At this time Brady and Chris will speak their vows to each other.
Exchanging of Rings:
Your wedding rings are a symbol of everything you share in your hearts today. When you look at these rings, you will remember the promises you just vowed to each other. The circle of these rings is constant and continuing, with no beginning and no end, an unbroken circle that represents the returning to these promises for all the days of your life.
Brady, place the ring on Chris’ finger, saying “I give you this ring as a sign of my love.”
Chris, place the ring on Brady’s finger, saying “I give you this ring as a sign of my love.”
Pronouncement:
Now that you, Brady and Chris, have promised to give yourselves to one another, to love each other through your sacred vows, and through the giving and receiving of these rings, I have the great honor and pleasure to now pronounce you married!
YOU MAY KISS YOUR HUSBAND!!!!
End script. In all caps with five exclamation marks. That’s exactly how it was typed in my final script as well as hand written in the leather bound notebook Brady and Chris had monogrammed for me to use during the ceremony.
After we finished up the ceremony we walked over to a grassy private area outside of the Lighthouse Inn. It was perfectly situated far away enough from others and facing the ocean alongside a beautiful set of jetty’s. There was only one thing missing, dancing. All of which will be made up for the moment we come together as a full group! The evening wrapped up with a lovely outdoor meal, toasts from the parents, and of course – cake! Below are some of the group shots and miscellaneous shots from the evening. The photos were all taken by Paul Saunders Photography on the Cape and they did a wonderful job capturing this intimate micro wedding by the Sea.
Lastly, while I was making this landing page for all things August 28th, I remembered that leading up to the Cape I had made a playlist for the day of. I didn’t think there would be any dancing allowed (given the pandemic) and things got hectic afterwards, so we didn’t end up listening to it. Anyways, it’s fun to listen now while looking at all of the awesome photos from that day. I made sure to include some classic wedding songs, a few family favorites, and of course an appearance by Lady Gaga and Beyoncé.